Autobiography 1 “Hell” –my childhood–

I was born as the son of a small temple.

Because of cerebral palsy, I cannot walk or stand without support. Since the upper half of the body is also paralyzed, the back muscles are curved and the right hand also cannot be moved either.

My parents wouldn’t have accepted that reality. Unfortunately, they started trying to “correct and heal” my disability with the folk remedy called “Dorman method”. This was the beginning of hell. Every day from morning till night, the abuse called “training” continued. Specifically, they are to walk using a device such as a hanging device called an overhead ladder, and to crawl around. These have a quota of times and times, and I can never stop until I achieve them whether I want to cry or not. If I can’t, I would be brutally beaten and abused. In terrible times, I was knocked out of the house and left for a few hours, or they wouldn’t give me food.. I was denied a bath and shower for an entire month many times. In addition, while I was eating, I was forced to stay in a standing position by using special equipment, and because they believed it was good for my body. I was sometimes hung upside down from the ceiling. Even after getting tattered by such training, I cannot rest. My father (I don’t think of him as my father, but I have no choice but to call him that because of his blood) often said,”You have to stand out by something to survive,because you are inferior to other people due to disability. ” So I received an unusual early education between the “trainings”. Mainly, I was taught contents in mathematics that 9th grade students learn before I entered elementary school. He forced me to learn whatever he could think of, such as physics, programming, 3D modeling, painting, newspaper making. But whatever it was like “training,” I couldn’t feel it was fun. The reason why was that I was mercilessly beaten and abused if I couldn’t do it well . Of course, there is no one that has become my body. I think Spartan education has a lot of harm and is worthless.

With his policy of “being stupid when I go to school”, I was allowed to attend elementary school only three days a week. I was free from “training” while I was in elementary school. But there was another difficulty at school. In elementary school, there is a system called “caregiver” to help students with disabilities, and the caregiver who took charge of me hated me thoroughly. Whatever I did, I was always disgusted with very nasty way of saying things. But I couldn’t do anything without bowing to that person, so the emotional distress was immeasurable. There may have been something that made her irritated for some reason. But when I think of it from now on, there is nothing wrong with a person who directs such hatred to an elementary school student.

As mentioned above, I was suffering from abnormal adults at home and at school. I had the worst childhood. What’s worse, in elementary school years, I had four surgeries, one of which put me in hospital for half a year. This was hell in another sense.

It would look like I’m bragging about my misfortune, but it’s not an exaggeration. I just have nothing to write about but a bad memory at this time. The only consolation was reading books. I was able to forget the painful reality only when I was reading. Perhaps because of it, I won top awards at two prefectural composition contests while I was in the sixth grade. This is one of the few good memories of my childhood.

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